It's Been a While

I remember when and why I started this blog. It was because I had so many ideas floating in my head, but never really went out of my way to make them a reality. At the time, I was challenged by a wise friend and teacher to start with the little things. If I wanted to walk down to the coffee shop and journal, I would do it. If I wanted to pay a compliment to the person in front of me, I would do it. The thoughts became actions and the little movements ended up with a journey to another city in another state far from everything that I loved. You see, I was not unhappy with my life in California. I had some of the best friends a girl could ask for. I had a home and an incredibly supportive family. I was able to figure things out along the way. I had time. Los Angeles was my comfort zone.

And I left.

The last 3 ½ years have proven to be challenging and heartbreaking and beautiful and in many ways, uncertain. They have not been without tears. They have not been without joy. But that’s life – ever turning. The years here have brought me new songs to sing, new stories to tell, a newfound independence, and even a fiancé with whom those songs now have new meaning.

Still…the ideas from years ago have reverted to floating around once more. I’ve mentioned them now and again to those around me. I say that I will do something, but then I get distracted. Then, I make excuses. Then, time passes and the I'll know the dreams are beautiful, but nothing more than dreams.

I no longer want this to be the case. I want to be held accountable for what I say that I want 2018. These are my intentions: I intend to start my theater company. I intend to release new music. I intend to use what I am given to help those around me who are in need. I intend to be present. And I intend to release myself from the gnawing fear of failure through it all. I intend to do what I came here to do. I followed dreams all the way to Nashville. It’s time to wake up.